I took a sip of my coffee with one hand and scrolled on my mouse with the other. It was just a hot coffee, only a little half and half and even less sugar in it, so I made it a quick sip before putting it back down. Just business as usual. My hands moved over the keyboard of my laptop, and my fingers got to typing again. The clacking of the keys, the grinding of coffee beans behind me made for a satisfying white noise somehow. The sounds kept me in this sort of relaxed focus, intent on finishing the work I was doing without being stressed out. This was turning out to be a productive session at the coffee shop. If I stayed long enough and got enough done, I could treat myself to a jazzier drink or something.

I was facing the front door, seeing every customer who came into the store, but I heard the next group before I even got a look. It sounded like a busy bunch. I looked up just as a couple of the kids stumbled through the entrance, nearly hitting my table.

“Sorry!” the girl said, waving her hand as they passed. It was her brother that had gotten the closest, and he hadn’t even done anything.

“Oh, don’t–” I started.

“Sorry ‘bout that!” another voice chimed in.

“I was just saying–”

I froze when I saw the next person trying to apologize. He did, too. We recognized each other right away.

“Oh my God! Camille!” he exclaimed.

A social interaction in general, a sudden one at that, and especially one with my ex-boyfriend pumped my stress levels up in a hurry.

“Gus!” I said, breathless.

It didn’t help that the toddler on his hip was lunging for me. Gus laughed and turned that side of his body away from me, sparing all three of us.

“Sorry ‘bout that, too,” he said. “Jeez, it’s been ages! How are you?”

I scooted my chair back and stood up quickly. Gus used his free arm to pull me in for the side hug. I found myself pressed up against his chest and his baby girl practically already in my own. I had to keep myself from panting.

“I’m good,” I said.

“Who’s this little cutie?” I asked while finally putting about a foot of distance between myself and her. She kept tearing herself away from her father, grabbing at me with chubby hands. Gus shook his head and bounced her on his hip. He bumped into me a bit in the process, which led me to the realization that our arms were still wrapped around each other’s backs. I moved even farther and pulled my arm away in a hurry.

“This is Amy, and she does this with everyone,” he replied. “It can be a lot.”

He called out to his other two children. “Hey, Cal! Zo! Could you wrangle your baby sis for a minute?”

The boy and girl had been waiting near the service counter the whole time, but they backtracked to their dad.

“Sure,” his daughter said as Gus passed Amy to her.

“Thanks, sweetheart,” he said. “This is one of my oldest friends, Camille. I just wanted to catch up with her for a minute. Camille, this is Zoe and Calvin.”

I took a deep, conscious breath at last. “It’s nice to meet you both. All of you, actually!” I added to include the youngest.

“It’s nice to meet you, too,” Zoe barely said, juggling her sister in her hands. Calvin had his arms crossed, looking bothered that he had even been spoken to.

“We just got into town, so everyone’s starving,” Gus explained. “You’ll have to forgive some of us if we’re grumpy.”

“It’s all good, of course,” I said. “I don’t want to keep you guys from getting your food.”

“Don’t even worry about it,” Gus said and looked over my shoulder to the door. “My wife was right behind us. She should be here in a sec to get everything ordered.”

I smiled in pain. Ah, yes. The other person I hadn’t met yet.

“Man, look at you,” I said. “You’ve got such a beautiful family.”

Gus sighed and smiled at me. It almost seemed like he finally got to take a breath as well. We actually truly looked at each other for the first time since he walked in.

“Thank you,” he said. “It moves a mile a minute, I tell ya, especially while we’re traveling. I knew you lived here, Camille, and I would’ve reached out, but–”

The front door opened again, and the wife walked in.

“Gus! What are you doing? Let’s get the kids some food, please,” she said immediately.

“Sorry, hon’, I ran into–”

“Is this Camille?” she asked, staring at me yet asking him. Her lips strained as she smiled. “It’s so nice to meet you! I’m Kim!”

“It’s nice to meet you, too,” I told her.

“We would’ve planned a get-together, except we’re only passing through,” she explained. “We have to get these kids fed and be on our way.”

“Sure,” I said. “I totally get it. I don’t want to hold you guys up any more–”

“I’m going to order, Gus,” Kim said over me, walking toward the counter. “Do you know what you want?”

“You know what I like,” he replied.

Kim began talking to their children, rounding them up and taking Amy from Zoe.

“I really am sorry we’re in such a rush, Camille,” Gus said. He placed a hand on my shoulder. “Look, I’ll order my drink and come back over so we can keep talking, okay?”

I gulped. “Um, yeah, if that’s okay. Seriously, Gus, I don’t want to intrude.”

“You wouldn’t,” he assured me. “If anything, we’ve intruded on you! Besides, I’m with them all of the time. I literally haven’t seen you in a decade.”

“Yeah… don’t I know it,” I said. Gus lowered his arm, his smile kind of sad now.

“I do, too,” he said quietly. “See you in a few.”

I opened my mouth to apologize, yet he had already turned away and hurried over to his family. I closed my mouth again and shook my head. That had been dumb of me to say. It certainly wasn’t his fault.

I went back to my seat, listening to them all chat and laugh with the baristas. I sat down and drank my coffee, which had turned lukewarm. I swallowed with a wince. I watched Gus with his gorgeous wife and his adorable children. And when I glanced at him, I thought he was more handsome than he had ever been. It had been ten years since the last time we saw each other, and that was the day we broke up. Though I continued following him on various social media, seen his wedding to Kim and his kids growing up through a screen. He followed me back and probably didn’t see much. I don’t post much.

The memories came flooding back. I shut my laptop and rubbed my eyes. I didn’t want any of that; I thought marriage and parenthood were a rollercoaster I didn’t want to ride. Just the stress of seeing them all there in the coffee shop, hearing the volume and chaos they put out in only the few minutes they had been in the same room as me had me wound up unnecessarily. I was having such a great morning so far.

However. Gus was lovely. He always had been. He understood my trauma, my struggles with my mental health, my parents’ divorce, he was there for all of it. We had dated for so long and dated when we were so young that we practically grew up side by side. We kept seeing each other even when we dated long distance during college. Then, he wanted to get married. He had talked about it, he proposed to me, and I said no. That was the end of everything. I went back to school for four more years, and he didn’t. I moved out of state, and he didn’t. Somehow, in that moment, it was all back where it began: in a cafe, not too different from the one we first met in. The world works in mysterious ways.

“You okay, Camille?” Gus asked softly.

I nearly threw my hands down, banging the table on the way. I looked up at him and laughed a little.

“Yeah, sorry,” I answered. “Some eye strain or something. I had to put my work away.”

“Can I sit?”

“Absolutely.”

“Don’t be long, honey!” Kim called from another table across the room. She set up Amy in a high chair while Zoe and Calvin chowed down on their food.

Gus waved to them with one hand and sat across from me, a mug in the other. I couldn’t help but grin.

“A latte?” I asked.

“Oh yeah,” he replied. “You know what I like.”

My eyes shot down to the table, to my fidgeting hands. I think he knew what he had said because he cleared his throat.

“So, uh, what do you do for work these days?” he asked.

“Uh, still finance,” I said. “I’m a director of finance and operations now.”

“Holy cow, that’s awesome! Really working your way up.”

“Yeah, it took a long time. It’s definitely a grind. How about you?”

“Oh, I swap with Kim so that one of us can stay home with Amy and pick up Zo and Cal from school, take them to their extracurriculars, that sort of thing. I’m still just an engineer.”

I squinted back up at him. “‘Just an engineer?’ Like that’s not as important of a job as mine.”

Gus chuckled. “I mean, it is. I guess I meant I haven’t climbed the corporate ladder or anything like you have. You’ve earned your spot, Camille.”

We both took a deep drink of coffee, and I finished mine off.

“Do you all travel a lot?” I asked.

“I’d argue too much,” Gus joked. “No, yeah, and it’s incredible. Kim loves it, and she wants the kids to love it, too.”

“She’s still in the reserves, right?”

“Yup! Yeah, she quit her job to be with Amy, but she does a weekend once a month with them. She volunteers at the VA sometimes, too. Honestly, Camille, I’ve been down there, and they could use a director of finance operations or something, I swear.”

“Oh, stop! I bet they have one somewhere. Besides, the military, the government, all of those places need quality engineers.”

“Tell me about it. They’re constantly asking about me. Sure just feels like those guys could kick down my door and bag me, if they wanted to.”

Suddenly, it was as though both no time had passed between us and time stopped moving around us. When we got to talking, we could talk. He had been my best friend, after all. He told me about the trip they had been on – they were going to see his in-laws and drop the kids off with them while he and Kim did some exploring and got some time to themselves before coming back to visit. He proudly declared that he was pulled over for speeding and got off with only a warning: a classic Gus tale. I described a lot about my work, since it was seriously the one thing I had any time for. Although it did come with numerous cafe recommendations, especially for the next time they drove through town.

“Oh, I’d love to treat you all to lunch or something,” I offered. “Let me know when you swing back through, and we’ll make it happen.”

After such a long time, Gus frowned. “Oh… we’re, uh, not coming through this way again,” he said. “Taking the scenic route back to see some sights.”

“Oh…” I trailed off, twiddling my thumbs. “No worries. I wanted to put it out there, but I shouldn’t have assumed.”

Silence fell between us. There was the clamor of his family behind me, the conversations of people in line, and the grinding of the coffee beans to fill the gap. It didn’t last long, however.

“I feel so bad, Camille,” Gus said. “I brought it up to Kim, the idea of meeting up with you, and she… got all weird on me.”

“Gus, please–”

“I wanted to see you, I needed to apologize for–”

“You aren’t the one who should be saying sorry. Not for anything.”

“No, I’ve avoided it all along, you’ve avoided it, and when I found out we were coming here, I knew–”

“You don’t have to do this–”

“I–”

“Gus, honey! We have got to take off!” Kim hurried up to the table, Amy bawling in her arms. Calvin and Zoe giggled as they both pounced on their dad, who managed a chuckle as he wrapped his arms around them.

“Oh, honey, jeez, I’m so sorry,” he said to Kim. “Yeah, let me help you, and let’s get out of here.”

Gus urged his kids off and stood up. I stood up as well and waved to them.

“It was so great to see you, Gus,” I said bravely. “And a pleasure to meet everyone!”

“Oh, I wish we could stay!” Kim shouted over Amy. “But we’ve got to head out!”

“Give her to me,” Gus said.

Kim handed the toddler over and snapped at Zoe and Calvin, “Get to the car, both of you!”

Calvin and Zoe shared a look with each other and then looked at me. I clenched my teeth and shrugged behind their mother’s back. They moved along and chased one another out of the coffee shop, Kim nipping at their heels. Gus cooed to Amy and rubbed her back with his free hand. She buried her face into his shoulder, her arms wrapped around his neck as she quieted down. I glanced around at the other customers and then over to them.

“It was so great to see you, Gus…” I repeated.

Gus blinked quickly. “Yeah… you too, Camille.”

I lifted my arm for the side hug. Gus moved in and wrapped his available arm around me. His hand held the nape of my neck, his fingers gently grabbing my hair. Like he used to. Both of us gasped for air as tears rolled down our faces. I rested my hand right over his heart. We were huddled there for a moment with Amy, who had fallen asleep. Damn it, she was an utter angel. I went for it and kissed Gus on the cheek.

“I’m so, so sorry,” I whispered. “You have no idea.”

“I’m sorry, too,” he said.

He backed off, knowing that he couldn’t linger much longer. He wiped under his eyes and sniffed. “I’ll, um… I…”

“We’ll, um… talk?” I suggested. “Online? If that’s… okay?”

“Uh, yeah,” he said. “That sounds good. I have to go.”

“Yeah, sure thing. I’ll get the door.”

I hustled around Gus and pulled it open for him. He barely smiled and nodded.

“Thanks, Camille. See you.”

“See you.”

I choked on the words. I was about to follow up with something I hadn’t said to him in almost half of my life, the thing I feel like he wanted to say to me, too: I still love you.

He looked back at me, and I didn’t dare look away. His smile spread a bit before he faced forward again, walking to his car. I smiled brightly, even though he couldn’t see. I waved a final time, not knowing if anyone in the car could see. None of that mattered to me. It had been such a great morning so far. I was feeling what I hadn’t felt in such a long time.

I spun around and headed back into the coffee shop. I knew I was being watched, and I didn’t care. I walked right up to the barista at the counter, who tripped over her gossiping coworkers to reach the register. She seemed embarrassed, and I grinned.

It was time for that jazzier drink. Maybe a latte.