I know what moving day feels like. I know it better than most. My dad was in the Air Force, so I can easily say that half of my life so far has been affected by moving to a new place.

The details were pretty much the same. A few guys arrived in a huge moving truck, took a look around our home, asked some questions, and got to work. They did the heavy lifting, taking big items like the beds and couch. They packed the small items and piled boxes upon boxes in every room before carrying them one by one down the stairs. It was a lot of waiting around and trying to deal with all of the twitchy energy and crazy emotions pent up inside. I felt heartbroken, knowing that I was leaving my friends and everything I had come to know and love. Then, just like that, the moving truck was gone, and so were we.

Yet this moving day was definitely different. The last time I had made a really big move, I was 11 years old. I’m now 24. So when those moving guys were asking questions, they were doing so of me, not my parents. Kevin and I were the ones making decisions and telling them what to do. Instead of doing whatever it took to get out of the way and not be a bother, I had to take responsibility and point in the right direction. I had to be in the thick of things. I was no longer one of the kids running around the house; I was one of the adults running the whole show.

It was still a lot of waiting. There was enough of a lull that a friend of ours came over with his son to see us. But even this felt different. Alex and Kevin were high school friends, and both of them went to CU Boulder. We had just gone to Alex’s wedding a couple of weekends before. Sam was almost 6 months old, sitting in a carrier and rocking back and forth. As Alex and Kevin talked, I played with Sam’s tiny hands and fixed one of his tiny socks as it threatened to fall off. I’m pretty sure I was smiling constantly. Once Alex took Sam home and we said our goodbyes, I realized just how much had changed so quickly, not just in my own life, but in the lives of the people around us. The choices we make, especially the big ones, truly change the course of our lives.

Of all the times I’ve moved before, I hadn’t come to this realization, and I finally understand why I hadn’t. I think that growing up has quite a bit to do with it. Yet the real reason is because, this time, I was part of the decision. Kevin and I made a choice together, the choice to take a leap of faith and move to the east coast. As a kid, I had no say in moving. This time, I did.

I had a choice in moving to Colorado, too, don’t get me wrong. However, even still, moving this time was different. When Kevin and I went to Colorado, we were leaving our family and friends behind in New Mexico. We made that choice together as well, and of course, it was difficult for both of us. We took comfort, though, in knowing that our loved ones weren’t too far away. We were fairly close to home in Colorado.

Manchester, New Hampshire, is nowhere near home. It’s two time zones ahead and over 2,000 miles away. The choice to move there was a much harder one for us to make. We could have tried to make Colorado work, like we wanted to. At least we could continue to see our family and friends pretty regularly for the price of a 7-hour drive or 1-hour flight. That would’ve been easier. Moving to New Hampshire… well, regularly just turned into annually. Bi-annually, if we’re lucky. And we chose to move here anyway, despite the personal difficulty and sacrifice.

I checked every room of our apartment in Boulder one last time before we started our cross-country drive. I was left standing in each empty room, thinking about everything that had happened there and feeling just as empty. My time there had already come and gone. I felt heartbroken, thinking about what could have been in Boulder. I also thought about everyone in New Mexico and being farther than ever from them.

But then, I thought ahead. That was the ultimate difference of this moving day compared to the others. I dealt with so many emotions once again, yet now, I had the clarity and maturity to think about the future I was heading for. This new place has more opportunities to find. It’s in an unfamiliar part of the country to explore. It’s different than anything I’ve ever known, and that makes it exciting!

I watched the sun set as Kevin and I drove away from Boulder. I texted my parents to tell them that we were on our way out. I thought about the people I had worked with so briefly at the grocery store: Sherrie, Sally, Ruthie, and Conrad. Yazzy and Nathan. We had only lived in Boulder for a year, and I had only worked there for four months. I can safely say that was one of the most enjoyable jobs I’ve had because of the people there. For now, though, Kevin and I had to put Colorado behind us. We could go back some day. Yet the course of our lives was taking us east across the USA, and we made the choice that started it all.

Nebraska stinks, by the way. If you ever find yourself driving out there, you’ll know a cow farm when you smell it.